Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
