I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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