last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
