I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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