and she was petting her beer can
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
