Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
