Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
