I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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