last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
