my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize