Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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