Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I just gift wrapped bread.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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