so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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