my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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