Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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