mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
