Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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