what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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