Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I just found puke in my bra..
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You pole danced in your parka.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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