we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
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