It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
