but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
