idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize