phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
