I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
and she was petting her beer can
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
