I love black thongs
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
