my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
