brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
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