Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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