You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
