four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
