I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
