mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
