just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
