The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize