he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Randomize
