there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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