I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
