his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
false alarm, still single
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
