i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
