I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
