are you still at the devil's house?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
His hands were made for my vagina.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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