At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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