I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
