I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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