We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
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