big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
