Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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