A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Randomize
