I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
