Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
This beer is not sobering me up at all
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
