i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
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