Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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