Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
