my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
