I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
