I just found puke in my bra..
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
