do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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