dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
this will be a night to untag.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
