I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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