My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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