Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
