hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
