Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
You ate ashes out of my bong
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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