Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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