Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
