how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
