my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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