That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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