Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
