Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
