i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize