You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
