A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize